Hoomans, Did You Miss Me?


Hey Hoomans, it’s me. Sam! I bet you missed me, it’s been a long time since I could get a hold of Mommy’s computer thing. She has just been typing and typing and typing. I bet her paws are hurting a lot. And she never left to make me treats or food or get me something fun to play with, can you believe that?

What she has been writing? A lot of stuff I do not really understand about being a people leader. Why would you want to be a leader of people, if you can play with a puppy instead? Makes no sense! You still want to know more? Ok, ok, you can find that stuff here if you must.

Not so fast, where do you think you are going? I am here to tell you about the last year and then some since I last got my paws on this thing. Mommy went to buy some stuff, I don’t know how much time we have. So could you please?

It’s so stressful, I am telling y’all

It’s summer here where we live. I had no clue what that was, but Mommy said it to Daddy. I think it has to do with the street being too hot for me to go on long walks (yeih!!!). That’s what Mommy told Daddy. Smart lady, sometimes. Not when it comes to making me go out in the yard three times a day though. Yep, if you read my last call for help, you might remember. No one showed up yet to save me by the way. Where are you hoomans? Maybe if you read my message again? It’s here. And then come, help me! It’s soo hot. 93 degrees. And I have to still go out and entertain Mommy and Daddy in the pool, destroy balls for them and play frisbee. They are crazy, I am telling you! Hoomans…

So this pandemic thing is still going on. Can you believe it? It’s been like a gazillion dog years. At least. And it still makes Mommy upset and sad. If I could I would bark at it until it’s gone. But Mommy says here in Florida there are too many Covidiots that are the reason it’s not getting better and that I could not possibly bark at all of them. But I think I could, what do you think? Like I am a big boy and I have a really loud voice if I want to. I am usually only using it to show Mommy and Daddy when I am excited about something they are doing. Gotta let them know so, they keep doing the right things, am I right?

Funny muzzles for hoomans

Also means I am not really barking a lot. Unfortunately. Mommy and Daddy are still wearing those hooman muzzle things. It’s crazy. Have I mentioned it’s 93 degrees? But they say it has something to do with a delta and people not getting their vaccination. I get you, hoomans. I don’t like vaccinations at all. But Mommy told me I can’t go to daycare and play with my peeps if I don’t get them. Why would they do that to puppies, but hoomans can still go places without? That’s so unfair! And stupid. Don’t tell Mommy or Daddy, but those vaccinations aren’t that bad at all. But I will still be soooo sad when I have to get one. Cause I always get a nice treat out of it.

Daddy told me, they even offered treats and money to hoomans as well, so that they would get their shot. Too funny, you can’t eat money, hoomans are really stupid. No surprise it did not really work much.

I have to tell you, life’s been so stressful. I need a break. Mommy and Daddy have this new thing where they want to go on vacation. All the damn time. Like we have been on that vacation thing twice since I last wrote to you. Must have to do with the whole Covid stuff. We never went on so many vacations before that whole nightmare started. Hopefully it’s over soon. Cause this pooch ain’t no fan of going on vacation. Or going anywhere that’s not around the corner really.

On the road – again…:(

I mean, it’s been a lot of new stuff to sniff and so. Which is kinda nice. But there is just too much new stuff to sniff and never enough time. And then I have to stay in the car forever and sleep in, well, not my bed (yeah, Mommy and Daddy do still believe it’s theirs so psssst.). And all the walking. There is just so much walking. Unfortunately it was not 93 degrees so they made me walk for hours. And, yes you guessed it, Mommy takes so many pictures. I do not like to have my picture taken. When will she learn that?

First we went to the mountains. That was scary. The house made so much noise whenever someone walked around. And so many smells I did not know. Why would you do that to a cute little pooch? I also had to walk down a hill, just do do my business. And then all the way back up. What the what? And we went hiking. I had to run ahead to show my hoomans the way. They should have told me, that I had to go all the way back as well. How should I know? I was so tired. And instead of going home, we had a picnic. Which basically means you have to eat your food in front of the car thing instead of comfortably at the cool house. And then we went on another hike to see a waterfall.

No, I am not smiling. AT ALL

Guys, what’s so special about water running down a hill? And why would you make me climb up that hill just to see the water come down? At least the water was cold and I was able to sneak in. Mommy pretended like she was upset, but I think she found it funny. Usually, when she pretends to be upset, she takes one of those photo thingies and her face looks weird. I think they said that’s called smiling. I can do that too, but I immediately stop, when Mommy grabs her phone. Mommy, I am not stupid! You gotta be faster.

Just when I thought this whole vacation thing was a one off, they got all excited, pulled out those big boxes that do not have food in them and off we went. Again. At least there was no hills this time. But we went to three different places and slept in three different beds. I did not know where I was anymore. And the walking. Ridiculous, I am telling you.

At least the last place had an ocean. That’s like a really big pool. But that water is moving. A lot. It’s called waves. And they are much bigger than the ones Daddy is making in our pool. Which is honestly a little scary. But when Daddy throws the ball in, someone hast to go in and get it out. Always have to take one for the team here. Daddy kept throwing and throwing, next time could someone please tell him it’s enough already?

But that ocean beach thing was actually fun. And I could run around without a leash, just like in our yard. And sniff some butts. Pardon me? That’s what dogs do. I have no idea why, but we take that stuff really seriously. You should give it a try. No, I did not sniff hooman butts, there were other dogs on that beach ocean thing. Mommy said we are going to that place again soon. So maybe vacation is alright after all. But no more long drives and hills. Feel me?

Phew, this whole typing makes my paws tired. Oh, I did not tell you, someone or something hurt my right hind paw. And now I have to have it bathed twice a day and Mommy is giving me some more banana and sweet potato pieces. I have the feeling, she is hiding something in there. But I just can’t prove it, cause they are too delicious and before I can check them out, I already ate them all. No idea why this keeps happening. I am on to you, Mommy. Watch me.

All smiles

I don’t like being hurt. If you know who did this, I am willing to share a Pablo or two. Well one should be enough as a reward, shouldn’t it? Let me know and I might even bark at it. And who knows? Maybe I will give barking at the pandemic thing a try too?

But then Mommy will go leave the house again and not be here to give me treats during the day. So maybe it’s not that bad after all? There are so many different colorful and nice muzzles, Mommy and Daddy will be fine. Don’t you think? Maybe if we just go on some more vacations? They do like that.

Got to go. Time for a nap, after I tricked Mommy into thinking I was sad that she was gone, so she has to give me a treat. Funny how you can trick those hoomans into believing almost anything. Mommy says that’s part of the problem. Works well for me though. I won’t complain.

“Mommy, look how I missed you! Yummie!”

Chat soon