Happy Monday, Hoomans! That’s what Mommy kept saying to herself all day, while she was wearing this weird thing on her head and starring at her other lapbook thing. She calls it “headset”, that thing on her head. And she talks about it a lot in the morning, when Daddy has to go retrieve it for her from the kitchen counter. She looks so funny, when she is wearing it but Daddy told me not to tell her. Mommies don’t like that, he said. No clue why. Do you?
I also think, I wore it much better but there was so much noise coming from it, I could not even sleep…not sure how Mommy is doing it. You be the judge – who wore it better?
Mommy is doing a dogfie while I am sleeping. Who does that? Look at me, looking sharp, right?
So what’s the fuss with this Monday thing? I don’t get it? For me it means a LOT less Pablos (the very bestest treat in the entire world) and attention from Mommy. And I do not like that. Because on the days before that Monday thing, Mommy is doing her weird running around the pool thing (don’t ask). And have to throw the ball for her so she keeps moving and all. As usual. But then she goes inside, get’s her big brown water with ice cubes (don’t ask me, how it’s called, even Starbucks needs to write it down to get it right!) and a LOT of Pablos.
She then sits down on the patio to feed me Pablos and play ball with me. Not sure why she picks up her phone and keeps sighing all the time when, I want a treat or play, but that’s our thing. You know? On that Monday thing, she goes inside as well but she does not come back out.
Instead she does stuff in the bathroom. First she makes her hair wet, just to then get it dry again. And she also puts stuff on her eyelashes. I guess hers are not as cute as mine so they need some color. And then she does the thing I told you about, where she puts on a nice top but keeps wearing her shorts. Don’t tell anyone, she does not want anyone to know, she is not REALLY wearing work clothes.
So I don’t like this Monday thing, cause I gotta wait for all my Pablos until I am done entertaining Daddy in the yard and playing and swimming with him. And I only get them, when I am joining Mommy in the couch office and work for her. Can’t we vote for not having Monday things anymore? Paws up, who’s with me?
No, I am not sleeping here. I am just working. Conducting a pocket search, cause Mommy keeps hiding Pablos from me. Because I am seriously underpaid, y’all! Well she told me she did not have any, but she keeps forgetting I am a Lab. Sniffing bait and retrieving it is in my DNA. Of course I was right.
Speaking of that. I saw this dude and could not agree more. Mommy and Daddy, just for your own protection, you might wanna listen to him, too.
Also Hoomans, don’t forget to check in on your friends, that are in this whole quarantine pandemic thing without a dog. I promise you, Mommy and Daddy would probably be glued to the couch if I would not be walking them regularly. You hoomans are so lazy. Do we know when people will start wearing their muzzles, so that this is all soon over? I am seriously exhausted. I have to play ball all day and swim and not just with one, but two hoomans. It’s ruff!
And don’t get me started on this picture thing Mommy keeps doing. I mean I am cute and all. But I do not pose for pictures (unless it involves a Pablo, then we can talk). There is sooo many of them. Her entire phone is full. There are many of Daddy and me, too. When there are pictures of Daddy and me, Mommy is usually never on them. That’s weird, don’t you think? She’s right there, just not on the picture.
Do hoomans like belly rubs? I do. A lot. But only on my own terms. I am a morning belly rub pooch. Mommy’s alarm goes off sooo early. When I am getting a belly rub, I can sleep a little longer and no one knows what I am doing. Smart, hm? You gotta do what you gotta do. I also always have to fight for my spot in my bed. Mommy keeps taking my pillow and I have to use her as mine. That ain’t right, right?
How’s the weather where you are living? We have the weirdest weather. It’s super hot and it rains all the time. I like it warm and like lying in the sun and all. But it’s sooo hot. When we were living in the city, there was this fun stuff I liked to play with. White, fluffy and super cold. When I was playing with it too long, my paws were freezing and sometimes hurt. But it was so much fun. Do you know, what I mean? Sometimes I miss that a little bit.
It’s not been cool here forever. Mommy and Daddy are missing it too. They would not admit it, though. But they told me we are going on vacation and it’s going to be cold, where we are going. I can’t wait. Mommy even said she needs to go and buy some warm clothes and a jacket for it. Funny you hoomans. Just get a fur and it changes from summer to winter automatically.
Oh, it’s time for my espresso Pablo. No, I am not drinking this Espresso thing. It already smells super weird. I’ll leave that to Mommy and Daddy. But they get a treat with it and when they do, I do too. So gotta go, or they will eat mine, too.
Sniff you later!
Sam